Situation: Your spouse is getting under your skin and you want to get back at them.
Recommended song for her: “Dazed and Confused” by Led Zeppelin
Because… Not too many women are fond of Zeppelin. Blare this long, rambling, whiny tune from the bedroom, and your wife will be just as irritated as you are.
Recommended song for him: “My Heart will Go On” by Celine Dion
Because… Not too many men are fond of Celine. Pump it up real loud, and this unbelievably sappy song will surely grate on your husband’s nerves.

Situation: The Snoopy Snoopertons live next door.
Recommended song: “Every Breath You Take” by the Police
Because… Fight fire with fire. Make sure to turn this one up so your neighbours can hear, and peer out your window at them while it’s playing.

Situation: You have just taken a strip-aerobics class at the gym and want to impress your spouse with your new skills.
Recommended song: “Hot Stuff” by Donna Summer
Because… If the frumpy old guys in The Full Monty can look good stripping to this song, imagine what it can do for you.

Situation: Your new puppy will be lonely when you’re not home.
Recommended album: Immortal Beloved: Original Motion Picture Soundtrack
Because… Beethoven can keep your pup company! Vets confirm that almost all pets left alone for long periods of time prefer soothing tunes to silence. Classical, jazz, new age, instrumental and ambient music are perfect for relaxing your furry little friend.

Situation: It’s late, you’re having trouble getting to sleep, and you have to get up early for work.
Recommended song: “Come Away with Me” by Norah Jones
Because… They don’t call her “Snore-ah” Jones for nothing. Put this on in the bedroom, and you’ll be zzz’ing in no time.

Situation: You’ll be spending hours in the car driving to a campsite.
Recommended albums: The Best of 1990-2000 by U2; In Time: The Best of R.E.M. 1988-2003 by R.E.M.; The Best of CCR by Creedence Clearwater Revival
Because… These are albums that you will both enjoy (and
can sing along to!). This way, you won’t argue over music
and won’t have to fit a huge selection of CDs into your already-cramped vehicle.

Situation: You’re hosting a poker night at your place and you’re winning!
Recommended songs: “Luck Be a Lady” by Frank Sinatra; “Viva Las Vegas” by Elvis Presley
Because… These upbeat gambling tunes will keep your poker buddies’ moods lifted—while you take their every last penny.

Situation: You just got a raise at work.
Recommended song: “For the Love of Money” by the O’Jays
Because… You can celebrate in your car on the way home—“Money, money, money, mon-ey…MONEY!” Donald Trump’s Apprentice has got nothing on you, baby.

Situation: You’re hosting the annual summer block party in your backyard this year.
Recommended songs: “Summer of ’69” by Bryan Adams; “Summer Nights” on the Grease soundtrack; “Summertime” by DJ Jazzy Jeff and the Fresh Prince; “Patio Lanterns” by Kim Mitchell
Because… The secret to choosing music for a party is to target the years in which your guests were teens—it brings back fond memories and gives everyone something to talk about.

Situation: You want your new baby to be a prodigy.
Recommended album: Best of Mozart by Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart
Because… There is a theory called the “Mozart Effect” that says exposing your baby to classical music can help develop speech, improve motor skills and aid memory development. Why not test it out?

Situation: You are having a girls’ night out.
Recommended album: Girls Night Out 4
Because… These tunes, which are all sung by women, will get your gals psyched when they come over to your place to do hair and makeup (just like when you were teens!) before heading out for a night on the town.

Situation: You’re going to visit the in-laws for the weekend.
Recommended song: “Highway to Hell” by AC/DC
Because… Isn’t it obvious? (If not, see “The In-law Diaries” page in every issue.)

Situation: You drank way too much last night.
Recommended song: “Home for a Rest” by Spirit of the West
Because… “You’ll have to excuse me, I’m not at my best…
I’m so sick from the drink, I need home for a rest.”

Situation: Your kids keep wolfing down their dinner and splitting from the table in record time.
Recommended album: The Essential Miles Davis by Miles Davis
Because… Research shows that when people eat, they take fewer forkfuls per minute when listening to slow rhythms. Also, this smooth kind of music encourages conversation—so your kids may actually divulge what monkey business they were up to all day!

Situation: He’s in BIG trouble and doesn’t know it…yet.
Recommended song: “Cell Block Tango” on the Chicago soundtrack
Because… “He had it comin’, he had it comin’, he only had himself to blame…” This is the song the women inmates in Chicago sing to explain why they killed their husbands. This is the song you should turn on while you’re chopping vegetables forcefully. Your hubby can’t possibly miss the overt message you’re sending to him.

Situation: You’re aching to get away for a summer holiday, but your home renovation has sucked up all your cash.
Recommended album: Legend by Bob Marley
Because… Listen to this classic play while lounging around in your sarongs and tank tops in the backyard, and drinking margaritas with your feet in the kiddie pool. It’s the next best thing to a vacation.

Situation: You’re slaving away under the hot sun doing yard work together.
Recommended song: “Walking on Sunshine” by Katrina and the Waves
Because… Songs like this provide a great distraction from hard work, so bring some speakers outside.

Situation: Your partner is leaving town on business.
Recommended song: “Missing” by Everything but the Girl
Because… With lyrics like “And I miss you—like the deserts miss the rain,” your partner knows they will be missed. So put this on before they leave. But…
Another recommended song: “Freedom 90” by George Michael
Because… This is what you play the second after your partner pulls out of the driveway.

Situation: You’re always waiting for your significant other to get ready to go out.
Recommended song: “Take Me Out” by Franz Ferdinand
Because… A tune with a strong, fast beat will subconsciously get your significant other to move faster.